May 4th, 2016
Posted 9 years ago on May 4th, 2016
Hello Earthlings PERSONAL ANECDOTE Yesterday I realised that I’ve been combining the two very different stories of Puss in Boots and Dick Whittington together, for years. My children, who are much younger than me, and who are cats, were completely flabbergasted and wouldn’t stop going on about it. I defended myself by saying, “So? At […]
March 14th, 2016
Posted 9 years ago on March 14th, 2016
Hello Subscribers I ate too many potatoes today and so this newsletter is going to be short and sweet. I hope this is ok. I can’t see properly and my wrists have gone all stiff with the starch. What happened was, a lovely friend made a lovely roast dinner and his roast potatoes are the […]
February 21st, 2016
Posted 9 years ago on February 21st, 2016
Hi everyone. Today (21st Feb) is the last chance to vote for me (OR ANYONE ELSE YOU LIKE) in the Chortle Awards. Here’s a recap from my last newsletter – please vote!!! CHORTLE AWARD FOR BOOK FOR HER THE BOOK – PUBLIC VOTE Old Chortle, the comedy website, have nominated my book in the book […]
February 15th, 2016
Posted 9 years ago on February 15th, 2016
THE DISMANTLING OF THE NHS I’ve just found out that Jeremy Hunt is an alien from a planet called Annoybius. The Annoybius people’s main objective is to annoy the shit out of people, especially those who save lives, by using their facial expressions, behaviour, general attitude and physicality. The Annoybians studied Tories and the common […]
January 8th, 2016
Posted 9 years ago on January 8th, 2016
I hope I don’t die as a result of apocalyptic weather conditions or Islamic fundamentalism this year. DOMESTIC I chucked 3 mince pies in the bin today. I’m ashamed of the waste, but they were starting to feel like my long- dead partner’s jackets, hanging in the wardrobe. I need to move on now – […]
November 26th, 2015
Posted 10 years ago on November 26th, 2015
Here is my festive newsletter. I won’t have time write one next month as I’ll be all tied up with baubles and eating and glittering up my cat’s tail, like a cat’s tail version of the festive beard. BUDGET NEWS George Osborne has scrapped his plans to explicitly make the working poor worse off via tax […]
November 7th, 2015
Posted 10 years ago on November 7th, 2015
Hello Novemberurians Just a very short remindery about A Book for Her as I’ve got a bit of lamb and some lovely veggies in the oven and don’t want to ruin them by waffling on. LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE – 16 NOV-2 DEC I’ve gone to a massive room at Leicester Square Theatre and it would be […]
October 2nd, 2015
Posted 10 years ago on October 2nd, 2015
Dear All A BOOK FOR HER – LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE 16 NOVEMBER-2 DECEMBER This is a new stand-up show and it is at Leicester Square Theatre. I am not doing this show for weeks on end at Soho, like I have done the past 2 years. I’m doing a shorter run in a bigger room. […]
September 13th, 2015
Posted 10 years ago on September 13th, 2015
Hellooooooo They found more stones under Stonehenge and some old human bones in Africa. Jeremy Corbyn is the new Leader of the Labour Party and Tom Watson will be doing all his filing and stuff like that. Sorry I haven’t written for ages. I will try to get my monthly newsletters out monthly from now […]