April 8th, 2022
Posted 4 years ago on April 8th, 2022
Hello! Does anyone still get these newsletters? It seems really old fashioned doesn’t it? But not good old fashioned, like sending a pigeon round to all your houses. Anyway if you are still subscribing, there’s a couple of things coming up. Sunday Brunch (10 April) I can’t wait to do this. I hope I get […]
March 4th, 2022
Posted 4 years ago on March 4th, 2022
Dear Subscribers to my newsletter, It’s been a while hasn’t it? Thanks for still subscribing! I was still fertile the last time I sent one out I think. Anyway let me tell you what’s just happened. I was typing this out on a table in my living room when I heard this really weird noise […]
September 1st, 2021
Posted 5 years ago on September 1st, 2021
Helloooo !! It’s me!!!!!! NEWS Michael Gove has been filmed dancing in an Aberdeen nightclub. I watched the video. It’s fascinating. It’s not really dancing as such, in the traditional sense. He tends to just move up and down, then pushes his hands up in the air. It’s all very rigid. But it’s still better […]
April 13th, 2021
Posted 5 years ago on April 13th, 2021
Hello you lot! My new radio series starts tonight! It’s about being mortal so unless you’re Doctor Who or a particular sea anemone that doesn’t ever die (I know) then this is deffo the show for you! I hope you love it but if you don’t you can just go away and keep your fucking […]
October 12th, 2020
Posted 6 years ago on October 12th, 2020
Cooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! My washing machine has been really smelly lately. So smelly, in fact, that unless I took the washing out of the drum AS SOON AS THE CYCLE FINISHED, all my washing would smell horrid, like old shoes and farts and things like that, and I’d have to spray it all hairspray and stuff. So […]
September 15th, 2020
Posted 6 years ago on September 15th, 2020
OOoer Plinky Plonks Covid Life I got up today and cleaned the house. There was a lot of dust everywhere. I had a sandwich for lunch and a curry that I made yesterday for tea. Chopping up coriander stems takes quite a long time but it smells nice so all good. I was quite thirsty […]
September 5th, 2020
Posted 6 years ago on September 5th, 2020
Yoohoo!!! Two things: One. If I take the washing out of the machine as soon as the cycle finishes my washing smells lovely, but if I leave it, even for just 5 minutes, it smells horrible. Two. PLEASE COME TO THIS SHIT HOT GIG! It’s outside and Jess Fostekew and Kiri Pritchard McLean who are […]
August 11th, 2020
Posted 6 years ago on August 11th, 2020
Helloooo Just a quick gig update ! I’ll be doing my first live gig since March in Brighton in September. It’s outdoors and all properly distanced and is going to be brilliant fun. Book early as I think it’s limited availability. There’s 2 shows – one at 6.30pm, and another at 8.30pm. On 2nd September […]
May 4th, 2020
Posted 6 years ago on May 4th, 2020
Dear Lockdowned… I hope you are all safe and well and coping Right! ON WITH ALL MY EXCITING NEWS! I went round the house with a feather duster yesterday, going over the tops of picture frames and the TV and stuff. So that was fun. I did other things as well, but I’ll save those […]
February 27th, 2020
Posted 6 years ago on February 27th, 2020
Helloooo !! It’s me!!!!!! HALF-TERM HOLIDAY NEWS! I went down the rapids in Centerparcs last week and cut my knuckle a bit. It’s not a massive cut, it looks more like a tiny bite, but it’s perfectly placed which means I can say things like, “You should see the other guy” and things like that […]