Helloooo !! It’s me!!!!!! NEWS Michael Gove has been filmed dancing in an Aberdeen nightclub. I watched the video. It’s fascinating. It’s not really dancing as such, in the traditional sense. He tends to just move up and down, then pushes his hands up in the air. It’s all very rigid. But it’s still better […]

Hello you lot! My new radio series starts tonight! It’s about being mortal so unless you’re Doctor Who or a particular sea anemone that doesn’t ever die (I know) then this is deffo the show for you! I hope you love it but if you don’t you can just go away and keep your fucking […]

Cooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! My washing machine has been really smelly lately. So smelly, in fact, that unless I took the washing out of the drum AS SOON AS THE CYCLE FINISHED, all my washing would smell horrid, like old shoes and farts and things like that, and I’d have to spray it all hairspray and stuff. So […]

OOoer Plinky Plonks Covid Life I got up today and cleaned the house. There was a lot of dust everywhere. I had a sandwich for lunch and a curry that I made yesterday for tea. Chopping up coriander stems takes quite a long time but it smells nice so all good. I was quite thirsty […]

Yoohoo!!! Two things: One. If I take the washing out of the machine as soon as the cycle finishes my washing smells lovely, but if I leave it, even for just 5 minutes, it smells horrible. Two. PLEASE COME TO THIS SHIT HOT GIG! It’s outside and Jess Fostekew and Kiri Pritchard McLean who are […]

Helloooo Just a quick gig update ! I’ll be doing my first live gig since March in Brighton in September. It’s outdoors and all properly distanced and is going to be brilliant fun. Book early as I think it’s limited availability. There’s 2 shows – one at 6.30pm, and another at 8.30pm. On 2nd September […]

Dear Lockdowned… I hope you are all safe and well and coping Right! ON WITH ALL MY EXCITING NEWS! I went round the house with a feather duster yesterday, going over the tops of picture frames and the TV and stuff. So that was fun. I did other things as well, but I’ll save those […]

Helloooo !! It’s me!!!!!! HALF-TERM HOLIDAY NEWS! I went down the rapids in Centerparcs last week and cut my knuckle a bit. It’s not a massive cut, it looks more like a tiny bite, but it’s perfectly placed which means I can say things like, “You should see the other guy” and things like that […]

Dear folks, This is very short. I know you hate it when I write more than a couple of sentences. Got a few work in progresses this week. They’re going to be so much fun I can’t even tell you. There’s only a few tickets available for the Soho shows but I’ve put a sneaky […]

Hello! Just a tiny newsletter. Radio All the BBC Radio 4 Museum of Curiosities including the Christmas special should be up on the iplayer now. Look, here they are. They were loads of fun. Unfortunately you can only curate one series so that’s it for me. But I’ll be doing something new next year. I’ll […]