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January 2017 News
Posted 7 years ago on January 18th, 2017
HAPPY 2017 SUBSCRIBERS!
Sorry it’s been so long. I’ve not really felt like talking lately.
I’ve been a bit busy – rocking back and forth in the airing cupboard muttering, sucking on a comfort blanket, and trying not to think about Trump’s sentence structure when he talked about Afghanistan during his Times interview, Brexit and the Antartic crack.
CHANGES TO MY APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY
I’ve grown my fringe out and started wearing earrings. Don’t be alarmed, it’s still me, and I’m NEVER getting my webbed toes separated, I just felt like a change.
I will also be experimenting with my personality and behaving differently, for fun, so look out for that.
You’ll probably think, “That doesn’t seem like Bridget” or “What an odd thing for Bridget to do”, or “Wow! What an arrogant wanker.”(*) That sort of thing.
Don’t worry about it, it’s an experiment. You may not even notice, it will be very subtle.
I’m just going to do life differently for a bit and see if it makes any difference.
DONALD TRUMP PULLING FLAGS OUT OF HIS NOSE
I know this is about 2 months old now but if you missed the whole thing because you were HIDING in a cupboard, I guarantee it will cheer you up for ages.
Just do an image search on “Donald trump nose flags.”
A BOOK FOR HER BY “ROSY EDWARDS”
Listen to this! Just before Christmas, I had the honour of doing a talk at a girls school. It was great fun and the girls all asked amazing questions.
Although, rudely, they were much funnier and more insightful than me, which I thought showed a great lack of judgement and respect on their part and I won’t be going back there again in a hurry I can tell you that. Bloody cheek.
Anyway, after the talk, the quite brilliant deputy head who invited me asked me to sign her book (which was my book, do you see?). It was in doing so that I noticed that the imprint page, which has all the copyright stuff on it, said “Rosy Edwards has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.”
Well, as you can imagine, I was very surprised and confused by this! I was there when I wrote the book and I don’t remember someone else who isn’t me being there and writing it for me? I don’t even know anyone called Rosy Edwards. I don’t think I’m even on nodding terms with someone called Rosy Edwards, let alone spend 5 months with them.
I certainly don’t remember watching Rosy Edwards trying to knock the thing out in a log cabin at Forest Holidays during half term while my husband took the kids out all day as I relaxed in the hot tub? I have no memory of that at all.
Anyway, because of this, there are now thousands of books in circulation saying Rosy Edwards wrote my book. But she didn’t. I did.I don’t know who she is. Someone obviously just fucked up. BIG TIME.
I looked Rosy Edwards up to see if our books were similar and that was how someone got us mixed up, but she wrote “Confessions of a Tinderella – A laugh-out-loud true story of one girl’s search for Mr Right – one swipe at a time” so it wasn’t that. I don’t know how it happened. They obviously just change the name on a template and forgot this bit, or something.
Anyway, the great thing is, if I hadn’t gone to the girls school and done that talk, I’d never have known, because I’m obviously not going to be buying copies of my own book. The moral of the story is, never assume your publisher will spot mistakes.
LEICESTER SQUARE THEATRE – BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT – JAN 31ST-FEB 11TH
Come on guys. I arrogantly put loads of nights on in a 400 seater and now I’m a bit worried.
The first 8 shows sold out (*) but I still have another 2 weeks or so starting at the end of January.
PLEASE COME. IF YOU ENJOYED IT TELL YOUR FRIENDS. THERE ARE NEW BITS IN IT. HEELLLLLLP MEEEEEEE!!!!
January 2017
Tuesday 31st – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
February 2017
Wednesday 1st – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Thursday 2nd – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Friday 3rd – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Saturday 4th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Monday 6th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Tuesday 7th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Wednesday 8th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Thursday 9th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Friday 10th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
Saturday 11th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Leicester Square Theatre, London – 9.30pm – TICKETS
BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT – TOUR
I arrogantly booked a tour in bigger rooms than last time and now I’m a bit worried!
Please come!
February 2017
Monday 20th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – West Yorkshire Playhouse Courtyard, LEEDS – 7.45pm – TICKETS
Tuesday 21st – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Crucible, SHEFFIELD – 7.45pm – TICKETS
March 2017
Friday 3rd – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Playhouse, LIVERPOOL – 7.30pm – TICKETS
Saturday 4th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Dome, BRIGHTON – 8pm – TICKETS
Monday 6th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Stand, NEWCASTLE – 8.30pm – TICKETS
Friday 10th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Playhouse, OXFORD – 8pm – TICKETS
Monday 13th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Corn Exchange, EXETER – 8pm – TICKETS
Saturday 18th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Citizens Theatre, GLASGOW – 8pm – TICKETS
Friday 31st – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Quarterhouse, FOLKESTONE – TICKETS
April 2017
Saturday 1st – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Ropetackle Arts, SHOREHAM-BY-SEA – 8pm – TICKETS
Tuesday 25th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Sherman Theatre, CARDIFF – 7.30pm – TICKETS
Wednesday 26th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Brewery Arts, KENDAL – 7.45 – TICKETS
Thursday 27th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Dukes, LANCASTER – 8pm – TICKETS
Friday 28th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Y Tabernacl, MACHYNLLETH FESTIVAL – 8.45pm – TICKETS
May 2017
Tuesday 2nd – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Playhouse, NORWICH – 8pm – TICKETS
Saturday 6th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – The Lowry, SALFORD QUAYS – 8pm – TICKETS
Sunday 7th – ‘Because You Demanded It’ – MAC, BELFAST – 7.45pm – TICKETS
Monday 8th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Tobacco Factory, BRISTOL – 8pm – TICKETS
Tuesday 9th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Tobacco Factory, BRISTOL – 8pm – TICKETS
Saturday 20th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Djanogly Theatre, Lakeside Arts Centre, NOTTINGHAM – (2 shows – 7pm & 9pm) TICKETS
Sunday 21st – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Birmingham Rep, BIRMINGHAM – 7.30pm – TICKETS
June 2017
Sunday 11th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Nuffield Theatre, SOUTHAMPTON – 7.30pm – TICKETS
Monday 12th – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Playhouse, NORWICH – 8pm – ON SALE SOON
Thursday 22nd – ‘Because You Demanded It‘ – Little Theatre, LEICESTER – TICKETS
GIVING UP
Please come to the Leicester Square Theatre shows and the tour.
I’m giving up stand up forever after these shows** so don’t miss the opportunity of seeing me perform live these last few times.
OTHER GIGS
25 Jan – Storytellers Club Brixton
28 Jan – Crap Comedy Festival – Oslo
26 Feb – The Adelphi charity gig – TICKETS
27 Feb – Union Chapel Refugee Benefit with Sofie Hagen, Kitson, Lee, Kumar – then close Laugh Out London, Angel
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
** I am genuinely giving up, but only for a few months while I write a few things.
You’ll still be able to see me perform live until I’m about 70 I expect.
But you should still come to LST and the tour, in case I die immediately afterwards.
CUNT
1. Nigel Farage.
Can’t even begin to talk about Farage and James Delingpole’s comments about Brendan Cox. Can. Not. Even. Begin. – but here’s Mark Steel’s brilliant column about it.