Happy New Year to you all ! Have you finished off all the tubs of cream yet? I haven’t. More on that later.
The extended January run sold out too (to my continual amuse and bemuse ment) so we’ve put 5 more nights on in March. 2nd-6th. Snap them up before these mothers go too!!
I had a party of 30 in last night. I thought it might have been a hen party and there’d be 30 inflatable cocks upon the ladies heads obscuring the view for the audience behind them, giving me a great opportunity to riff about dick heads and clever stuff like that, but it turned out to be a party of academic-looking people. So no inflatable cocks to worry about at all.
Fred MacAulay who plays “man” in it is a total legend.
I’ll be doing Mel and Sue’s new ITV chat show on January 19th. Those two are legends as well.
I don’t know what time it’s on. In the afternoon I think.
I also don’t know what they will say or how I will reply to their questions.
This was taking ages because I didn’t really know what it was about but I do now and am going to write it VERY QUICKLY. It will be in your hands this summer.
Not taking on too many gigs between now and April as I have to hand the book in end of March but here is a few. I’ll probably add some more. I’ll keep you posted.
January 13th – Laugh out London, Angel Islington. Tickets here
January 14th – Refuge benefit at King’s Place. Tickets here
March 7th – Union Chapel. Tickets
March 8th/9th – International Women’s Day things for South Bank. Will keep you posted
March 9th – Happy Monday’s Amersham Arms, New Cross. Tickets
March 17th – Lolitics, Black Heart, Camden. Tickets
March 24th – Glasgow Stand, An Ungrateful Woman. Tickets here
May 2nd – Machynlleth Comedy Festival, An Ungrateful Woman. Tickets.
June 16th – Lolitics, Black Heart, Camden. Tickets
June 17th – Knock2Bag, Shepherd’s Bush
Read Charlie Brooker’s Guardian column yesterday. I almost had a urine incident it was that funny.
I bought 6/7 tubs of cream to bring to my dad’s for Christmas. I have a very large family and we’d all be having Christmas pudding. I bought various different types, like brandy cream, whipping cream, single, double, triple and also brandy butter. I left all this cream and butter in my London fridge so stopped off at a motorway services to get some more cream and butter.
My husband said he’d get it and bought loads of tubs of reduced cream that was past its sell by date. I didn’t want my entire family going down with creamy brandy shits and sicks on Christmas Day so I bought loads more brandy cream and brandy butter from the shops in Gloucester and put them all in my dad’s fridge. Dinner was at my sister’s house and when I got there I realised I’d left the third load of cream and butter in my dad’s fridge, so I had to drive back to his house which is quite a way from my sister’s house to get the cream.
No-one wanted any cream, so all the tubs of cream and brandy butter, the initial London batch, the gone off motorway service cream and butter (because we like to re-use the tubs to put all our millions of 1 and 2 pence coins in and place on our windowsills) and the Gloucester load all came back to London.
I have put on 9 lbs. I don’t mind because I don’t care about things like that. But the idea that it’s all cream and brandy butter makes me feel a bit sick.
TALK IN FEBRUARY YOU NUTJOBS
BC