Archived News

News – February 2014
February 5th, 2014

Oh ye, oh ye !

Did you know that I did amateur dramatics with the Town Crier of Gloucester?

He’s a really nice guy actually (bar the shouting). Last time I was home, I watched him shout into the faces of strangers outside BHS, and I thought to myself, perhaps if I got myself a bell and a smart red and gold cloak my feminist comedian character might go down better on Saturday nights?

I think I’ll give it a go.

A BIC FOR HER – MARCH 11-19 SOHO THEATRE

Yes, it’s the same show guys, with some new bits added in and some other bits (that I’m now bored of) taken out.

The Friday and Saturday have sold out now so hurry up and book please!!!

I’ll have to get on with the book, radio series and new Edinburgh show so I don’t know if I’ll put any more dates in – this is your last chance to come along and say, “I mean it was ok, but it wasn’t THAT good.”

A BIC FOR HER – GLASGOW 24 MARCH

Please come to this. I did a preview of the show there in July and no-one came.
I don’t want a repeat of that thank you very much!

MACHYNLLETH – 2/3 MAY

I’ll be doing A BIC FOR HER and a work in progress show. Book early!

PHOENIX FESTIVAL

Come on, Kev Eldon and I are doing 30 minutes new material each.
I think there are still tickets available! Its tomorrow night, hurry!

SOUTH BANK SKY ARTS AWARD

Well for goodness sake! I won! I was completely gobsmacked I don’t mind telling you.
Peter Blake designed the award as well so it was doubly exciting. The main thing about the day though was the lunch.
Asparagus to start with, then fish, then some lovely chocolates that had gold leaf on top of them. I couldn’t really eat anything to be honest because I was a bit nervous.

I had 2 coffees, like I said I would in my previous newsletter. It was in The Dorchester so the first one cost me £7. I said to the posh waitress, “Are you fucking joking?” in the strongest Gloucester accent I could muster.

The second coffee was free and came with lunch. Lenny Henry who presented me with my award was so supportive, kind and thoughtful that I’ve made a doll that looks exactly like him that I keep with me all the time. I take it out to nice places, feed it M&S food and I’ve just started reading all the classics to it.

I’ve made a tiny replica of the lovely suit he wore on the day, too. The cat keeps batting it about though because its made of wool, so I’ve had to put him really high up on a shelf .

Nick Helm won the Breakthrough Award. I was so proud of him I almost cried.

He was a bit scruffy though and hadn’t dressed up, the lazy twat.

RADIO

I’ll be doing Dilemma soon because I really enjoy it and there’s no prep.
Can’t remember when but I’ll let you know when its broadcast.

TELLY

I’ll be doing HIGNFY and QI this year so I’ll let you know when they’re on too.

WORK IN PROGRESS – NEW EDINBURGH SHOW

I am doing shit loads of work in progress and new material nights to try and get the new Edinburgh show together.
Please come to them, otherwise I won’t know what works and what doesn’t. Check out my gigs page for all these gigs/shows.
Invisible Dot have put heaps in, so they might be good ones to come to. I don’t know what the new show’s about yet, obviously, and so I don’t know what to call it.

OTHER

There’s been a bit of a mix up with my milk deliveries. What happened was, the milk lady went away for Christmas and someone else was dealing with my order. Now this someone else isn’t very good at texting or emails apparently, so hadn’t got my texts and emails cancelling my milk for Christmas.
Or if he had, he didn’t know how to reply to them.
When I got back from Gloucester there were 16 pints of milk in my garden, that I hadn’t ordered. We stopped having eggs delivered because of the foxes, so that was a bit of luck wasn’t it?

Anyway, not only did we get a bill for the 16 pints that we hadn’t ORDERED, we kept getting new bills each week for milk that we hadn’t RECEIVED. It was nearly a million pounds by this point, and we hadn’t even had any milk! What a mix up!
We had to phone them in the end. Remember when we used to do that? Actually speak to people? It was quite a long conversation because it was a bad phone line. She came round in the end but hadn’t told me she was coming so I had to empty all the kids money boxes and all the little pots in the house to get the money. It did cross my mind that it might just be easier to nip down the corner shop to get my milk. Or keep a cow.
It’s all sorted out now so don’t worry.

OTHER OTHER

My guts are recovered.


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